While many of us have resolved to save money, get in shape or get rid of a vice this new year. It would also help to resolve to improve one of the most important factors in our lives – OUR RELATIONSHIPS. Whether it’s a partner, co-worker, family or friend, there are some easy ways to maintain resolutions that will see your relationships flourish.
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I know many of us would have already given up on our NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS, but still there is hope.
HERE ARE SOME IDEAS FOR MAKING 2018 A PRODUCTIVE AND SUCCESSFUL YEAR:-
1.) LEARN TO LISTEN
Everyone wants to talk, few want to think and no one wants to listen. That’s a line we are all familiar with. But before you whine about no one wanting to listen, remember that it also includes you.
The first step in learning to listen is to learn to be quiet. Make a friend of silence. This can be difficult because nobody wants to be thought of as dull. There is a natural desire to respond quickly, and to be seen as interesting and smart. But if you resist this urge even a little bit, a new thing can begin to happen.
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Try this experiment: When talking with someone, play a mental game of waiting one full second before responding to anything they have said.
Just one second of silence, no matter what you’re talking about. This is a long, long time in a normal conversation. During this second of silence, don’t think about what you are going to say, think about what the other person has just said.
Give it one long, delicious second of your full attention. Then respond, saying whatever it is you have to say. Make sure to maintain eye contact so that they know you’re listening to what they’re saying and considering it.
Listening can be tough but urge yourself not to speak or give advice on impulse. And the good news is that you can become a better listener through practice.
Krishna Kumar, CEO, Emerging Businesses, Phillips, believes in lending a patient ear.
“My three years in Japan really taught me the importance of listening. Today, when I meet people socially, I listen more than I talk.”
2.) BE HELPFUL
One simple trick can help you become a better friend, partner or family member.
When a loved one comes to you with a problem, instead of asking ‘if’ you can help them, ask them ‘how’ you can help.
Being to the point and upfrontis not only a more efficient approach, it also creates a deeper sense of intimacy and trust in your relationship.
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No one expects you to start doing all of these things tomorrow, but if you start with the low-hanging fruit and keep at it consistently, the repetition will start training your brain to naturally think like a more helpful person.
I adopted some of these habits a few years ago, and the changes have been incredibly positive — not only in my professional life, but in my personal life as well.
However, make sure you actually want to help at this time because nothing backfires faster on friendship than a false promise.
Puneet Chhatwal, MD, IHCL emphasises on the importance of helping.
“I have a thing that has helped me do well in my life: I get pleasure in helping people grow, and they automatically help me grow.”
3.) NO COMPLAINTS
We all complain. Even if you argue that you are the happiest person in the world, you still complain sometimes.
After a bad appraisal, a terrible day or a breakup, everyone needs a safe place where they can air their insecurities and just talk.
But, remember that constant complaining is exhausting and no matter how good a listener your friend is, they are going to dread your calls if all you do is treat them like your personal complaints department.
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So, don’t sweat the small stuff like putting on weight or a petty fight with your co-worker.
Your pal cannot be your personal hype squad.
For example – I, once had a friend who constantly griped about her health, her family, her relationships, school, and the list goes on. Every time I hung out with her, I felt drained afterward.
No matter what I said or did, it never seemed to cheer her up. There is no arguing that she was going through a tough time, but her negative attitude certainly made matters worse. Eventually we grew apart because it was more than I could handle at the time.
Choose happiness, focusing on the positive, and being kind always! It is your choice and no one else’s.
4.) TECH OFF
While phones are a great way to stay in touch with friends and family, if you’re constantly connected to your phone by fingertip, then it can interfere with your dynamic with loved ones.
Research has shown that the presence of a cell phone (even if you don’t use it) can reduce a person’s satisfaction with a conversation.
A phone at the dinner table is distracting and tells your pal that you are okay with being taken away from the conversation at that time of you get a ping.
These don’t beat face-to-face chats- So keep the phone away.
Zillow CEO Spencer Rascoff wants to abstain from email, text and messaging apps every weekend this year.
5.) THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE
There is one relationship that many of us fail to focus on in the new year – the one with yourself.
So, yes, save, lose weight or kick that habit but also make it a point to take care of your self emotionally.
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That means saying no when things get too much to handle and saying yes to trying new things that make you happy.
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